Log X: A Melancholic Valentine's Day

I promised a compilation of my views on the world. That, and perhaps too an account of the prom nearly a year ago... I did forget to come back when I failed to get my thoughts together. 2009 Turned out to be a very pivotal year in my life- I've most certainly changed significantly for better and for worse. I'm far from a matured human being but I believe I have a much greater understanding of the world around me than the me of May, 2009. In less than a year I've seen wonderful and terrible things, experience euphoria and heartbreak, and for several months I've been struggling with what I cannot decide is either seasonal depression or a direct result of a wounded heart. Regardless... times are changing for me. I'm nearly done with high school. In a few short months I may never again roam the halls of Malden Catholic... but ya know, even though I may be leaving some friends behind, I know they'll always be here when I get back and that gives me the strength to go solo and really make an adventure out of my life on my own. No more depending on others and aspiring to be better. I will be me and this life will be mine.

[A Brief Tale of the Prom and Time Thereafter Regarding Friendship with My Date]

Overall I can't say I had a bad time, however there was such a huge amount of disappointment and failure that I certainly cannot say I had a good time. My date didn't want to dance all night, and, having only known each other a short while, awkward conversation for 3 and a half hours was a challenge. I had hopes she'd be more of a party animal like myself, but I was understanding and didn't fuss. Unfortunately, when many prom-goers decided to leave my party had no decided where to go to. Joe was adamant about going to the Kowloon but no one was hungry. There was an overwhelming majority that wanted to go elsewhere. Regardless he proceeded to bitch and act as though he had some claim over the limo we all split the cost for. We ended up driving around Boston until 2 in the morning where everyone was dropped off. I walked to Mike's house with him to spend the night. We stayed up until about 5:30 playing video games when he decided to sleep. When he fell asleep I left and walked home. (A note: Mike and I were very good friends at the time, having had several heart-to-heart conversations and just generally chilling. Currently, however, he has decided to hate me for an unknown reason. I haven't given up on him and we're both still out in the same group of friends. I hope he'll come around and at least cut back on the pot smoking habit he's developed.)

Anyway, my date for the prom Kristina, who I would only refer to as by that name today, ended up becoming... not good friends per se, but friendly acquaintances nonetheless. Matt and myself would later go to her house for a toga party on the night of their prom or ball or some kind of semi-formal. Later, still upon becoming greater friends with Leah and Liz, Matt and I would go on a 4 day trip down the cape with Leah, Liz, Kristina, Vanessa, and Leah's brother and folks.

Of course that would remind me I never wrote any of my thoughts down on the relationship Matt developed with Liz. Let's just say the first night they met and then the limo ride in Boston after prom was... amusing to say the least. I will never expose any kind of personal details in this blog however I do wish to address the following points soon so I can never allow myself to forget such a tumultuous year:

Matt&Liz

Revolution Summer

-Fascination with the culture of the late 60s

-Completely passive and overall happy atmosphere

-Parties

--The Mount

---Mount fails

---Other Spots

-Alexia

--The Death of Alexia

Halloween Fail

Allie&Me

-my good-intention-turned failures, confusion, misconception

Resulting Depression

-General melancholy up to this point regarding relationships and what I want out of anything

-Comparison of my former "emotionless" self

--amusement found comparing myself to Sai from Naruto(lol) and his emotional development

---How he read books and I read articles for clarifcations and still found trouble, etc.

Style Change

Joe&Kristen (Engaged)

College Hunt, guidance mishaps, etc.

AP Gov, Economics