Alright,
here are my concerns for the day. Woke up sick w/ minor and potential flu symptoms. Thankfully they are minor and have faded significantly. Naturally it had me worried what with all that's happening with this "swine flu". The future just looks bleaker and bleaker every day. We've got a pandemic on our hands, the global economy going down the shitter, more and more violence happening frequently on many scales, and, hell, I'm not even sure what to think. I keep a smile on my face all the time while living my individual life but... it's getting harder. I'll keep at it until the end, surely, but here's hoping the world rights itself soon.
Cheers *drinks cold medicine/tea like stuff*
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Log VII: Tickets, $150...
Tux, +/- $150;
Limo rental, $170;
Parking ticket, $6.50 (my bad);
am I forgetting something? no? fuck my life, regardless.
I've always hated ritzy things like limos and fancy dances. Formalities always irked me immensely. There's so much that's unnecessary that can change how people think of you. You become a status and not an individual.
I didn't even want to go to prom anyway but figured these opportunities are rare so taking advantage of them would make me happy later. Looking back on it, people said the same about things like the 8th grade semi-formal. I had an okay time, sure, but in all honesty I have no care for it having happened. The same goes for the winter balls and semi-formals that happened freshman year, sophomore year, and the winterball this year. I didn't go and I have no regret.
My rant this afternoon stems from my not having any money to put into this. My parents are going to end up taking care of it which really bothers me since I can't help at all. I'll get back to looking for a job asap but the odds of me getting hired anywhere are getting worse and worse. With the economy where it is, adults are getting all the jobs teens usually take. I have hardly any savings, about 1k in the bank, but that's not gonna last long at all in college or afterward when I actually need to pay my expenses.
fml
fml
fml
Limo rental, $170;
Parking ticket, $6.50 (my bad);
am I forgetting something? no? fuck my life, regardless.
I've always hated ritzy things like limos and fancy dances. Formalities always irked me immensely. There's so much that's unnecessary that can change how people think of you. You become a status and not an individual.
I didn't even want to go to prom anyway but figured these opportunities are rare so taking advantage of them would make me happy later. Looking back on it, people said the same about things like the 8th grade semi-formal. I had an okay time, sure, but in all honesty I have no care for it having happened. The same goes for the winter balls and semi-formals that happened freshman year, sophomore year, and the winterball this year. I didn't go and I have no regret.
My rant this afternoon stems from my not having any money to put into this. My parents are going to end up taking care of it which really bothers me since I can't help at all. I'll get back to looking for a job asap but the odds of me getting hired anywhere are getting worse and worse. With the economy where it is, adults are getting all the jobs teens usually take. I have hardly any savings, about 1k in the bank, but that's not gonna last long at all in college or afterward when I actually need to pay my expenses.
fml
fml
fml
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Log VI: A Lost Day and a World Conquered
I decided yesterday that I would not post that night since so little had been accomplished during the day. I did get to spend a few hours with my prom date and her friend, who was also very nice, and had an interested ride home not knowing where in the world I was with less than a quarter of a tank of gas, but, overall, nothing really influenced me or motivated my writing - though I must admit I had more fun on such a gray, drizzly, dull day than I would have expected, out and about and then back home in my basement (minus the pig pile).
Today I came face to face with just how cynical and vain I can really be in public. I hope my mind exaggerated the extent of those circumstances but being aware of them still makes me concerned.
Today I went to tour Assumption College and Fitchburg State College with a very closed mind. I'm honest in saying that I did open my mind midway through my tour at Assumption, but still the fact that I so cynically made up my mind previously over what I would believe about the school before going annoys me. That being said, I have to be fair and say that comparatively the two schools are lower than the ones I previously visited. That, however, does not mean they are out. I know that money is tight nowadays and I have to frugal. The schools did have nice aspects to them in addition to the bad, which is to be expected with nearly everything, clearly, so I will be applying to them when the time comes.
After getting home with more of an open heart for things of the college nature, I took it pretty easy with dinner and then a quick walk to hang out with some friends.
I stood in the rain for a while again today since I love the rain.
We ended up in my basement playing a healthful game of risk that we never finished (anyone surprised) and then I ended up having a conversation based around out slightly differing 'moral compasses' and then writing this post.
Most of the conversation is personal, but I'll put in a small bit here just to show where we ended up with it.
Today I came face to face with just how cynical and vain I can really be in public. I hope my mind exaggerated the extent of those circumstances but being aware of them still makes me concerned.
Today I went to tour Assumption College and Fitchburg State College with a very closed mind. I'm honest in saying that I did open my mind midway through my tour at Assumption, but still the fact that I so cynically made up my mind previously over what I would believe about the school before going annoys me. That being said, I have to be fair and say that comparatively the two schools are lower than the ones I previously visited. That, however, does not mean they are out. I know that money is tight nowadays and I have to frugal. The schools did have nice aspects to them in addition to the bad, which is to be expected with nearly everything, clearly, so I will be applying to them when the time comes.
After getting home with more of an open heart for things of the college nature, I took it pretty easy with dinner and then a quick walk to hang out with some friends.
I stood in the rain for a while again today since I love the rain.
We ended up in my basement playing a healthful game of risk that we never finished (anyone surprised) and then I ended up having a conversation based around out slightly differing 'moral compasses' and then writing this post.
Most of the conversation is personal, but I'll put in a small bit here just to show where we ended up with it.
Friend: i need 2 find people with common sense
willgenesiscc: but as far as I can tell it's not that big of a problem to let them have fun
willgenesiscc: Their sense is pretty common, actually. We're the one's out there. Unless you disagree in which case I'm out there and apart from them. It's all relative
Friend: u really like using big words and creating complex sentences dont u?
Friend: instead of simply being blunt about it
willgenesiscc: I'm just thorough =D
Friend: lol
willgenesiscc: I'm more biased if I'm blunt
Friend: thats bad?
willgenesiscc: not necessarily, but it's not very just as far as I can tell
There's a lot more to this conversation that I wish I could should since I think it really gives a good insight on how my mind works morally, but I'm unfortunately sworn to secrecy and already pushing the boundries of that.
Night, World
There's a lot more to this conversation that I wish I could should since I think it really gives a good insight on how my mind works morally, but I'm unfortunately sworn to secrecy and already pushing the boundries of that.
Night, World
Monday, April 20, 2009
Log V: Wake me up, before ya go-oh
'Cause I've got stuff to do tomorrow morning. Nothing too much to write about tonight. Had an awkward and fun day overall even though the fact that there's even the slightest bit of tension bothers me still. I shouldn't let it but I don't want to see thins build up again.
Happy 420, everyone. Pot smokers and non pot smokers alike, enjoy the... sequence of counting down by 2s to 0 starting with 4 :3
Hm... I'm just gonna summarize some stuff tonight since I'm tired and have to sign off soon. I'll make it a point to do this less often since this blog starting to sound frighteningly similar to my old one.
Went down to the school by my house today just to chill in my car while it rained and while some of my friends went out to smoke somewhere. Basically for 2 hours we fell asleep on top of one another. It was sorta awkward cause we got cramped and I ended up basically hugging my friend jess's backside for 20 minutes (lmfao). We eventually went to play pool and then back to the park to play wiffleball. That didn't work out in the dark so we played football. I originally thought I'd be giving the MVP award to Ejen, but Jess's down-and-dirty and often brutal take-downs in the dirt made me change m mind.
Anyway, I drove some people home after that and then got in myself oh... about 40 minutes ago. I showed, came down here, at some toast with "apple butter(it was so-so)" and then started typing this out. My appologies for the informality in this post. I did not think it was necessary.
Happy 420, everyone. Pot smokers and non pot smokers alike, enjoy the... sequence of counting down by 2s to 0 starting with 4 :3
Hm... I'm just gonna summarize some stuff tonight since I'm tired and have to sign off soon. I'll make it a point to do this less often since this blog starting to sound frighteningly similar to my old one.
Went down to the school by my house today just to chill in my car while it rained and while some of my friends went out to smoke somewhere. Basically for 2 hours we fell asleep on top of one another. It was sorta awkward cause we got cramped and I ended up basically hugging my friend jess's backside for 20 minutes (lmfao). We eventually went to play pool and then back to the park to play wiffleball. That didn't work out in the dark so we played football. I originally thought I'd be giving the MVP award to Ejen, but Jess's down-and-dirty and often brutal take-downs in the dirt made me change m mind.
Anyway, I drove some people home after that and then got in myself oh... about 40 minutes ago. I showed, came down here, at some toast with "apple butter(it was so-so)" and then started typing this out. My appologies for the informality in this post. I did not think it was necessary.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Log IV: Late Again
My apologies on the lateness and shortness of the post. I wanna meet the deadline. I learned today that I should invest in a GPS. It will help me save the human race even though I'll end up burning as a result of solar flares.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Log III: Decent Day
Failed at getting a post in before midnight tonight. To be honest I forgot, but remembered while playing around on here. I'll keep it brief tonight.
T'was a good day: overall nothing really inspiring or reassuring to me in my view of things. I ended up driving all the way to Tewksbury(sp) and taking my car back via 93 which I really regret. I couldn't even hit 65 before my car started shaking violently and making loud- very loud- rumbling noises. It was a bit scary even though I was laughing about the prospect of going wrong the entire time. Literally I was sitting there laughing at the patheticness of my car. At least I made the 15 minute trip with all the problems. After I got back home I got a sub which I really needed. It was healthy while at the same time utterly delicious. Although the man working the counter seemed like he was having a terrible day and didn't prepare the sub well. I forgave him.
Got back, played football in the park with some friends (which is very rare since many of my friends are... sedentary). One of my friends left suddenly without any real notice which concerned me in all honesty made me wish my friends had more reserve to stick through things like men. I hate to be truly insulting toward people in any occasion but I'm really getting sick of all the emo stuff my friends pull. It's quite ridiculous and sympathy can only go so far. That being said, if I'm wrong and there was another reason for his leaving, sorry.
Embarrased myself a bit tonight as well while at a Walgreens in Saugas but it wasn't major and I laughed it off.
Hoping the laughter will stay,
Cheers,
~Bill
P.S. There will be an additional post today before midnight (I hope).
T'was a good day: overall nothing really inspiring or reassuring to me in my view of things. I ended up driving all the way to Tewksbury(sp) and taking my car back via 93 which I really regret. I couldn't even hit 65 before my car started shaking violently and making loud- very loud- rumbling noises. It was a bit scary even though I was laughing about the prospect of going wrong the entire time. Literally I was sitting there laughing at the patheticness of my car. At least I made the 15 minute trip with all the problems. After I got back home I got a sub which I really needed. It was healthy while at the same time utterly delicious. Although the man working the counter seemed like he was having a terrible day and didn't prepare the sub well. I forgave him.
Got back, played football in the park with some friends (which is very rare since many of my friends are... sedentary). One of my friends left suddenly without any real notice which concerned me in all honesty made me wish my friends had more reserve to stick through things like men. I hate to be truly insulting toward people in any occasion but I'm really getting sick of all the emo stuff my friends pull. It's quite ridiculous and sympathy can only go so far. That being said, if I'm wrong and there was another reason for his leaving, sorry.
Embarrased myself a bit tonight as well while at a Walgreens in Saugas but it wasn't major and I laughed it off.
Hoping the laughter will stay,
Cheers,
~Bill
P.S. There will be an additional post today before midnight (I hope).
Friday, April 17, 2009
Log II: The Mess
The mess that is my life right now is far from overwhelming and I am not here to complain about that. Also, for the sake of keeping friend's personal matters personal, I'm going to write strictly of my observations and personal emotions toward given situations- assuming there is something to say.
A love triangle is one thing, but a square? I knew that things would get hairy as soon as one of the three whose hearts she was stealing made a move. Relationships between friends amongst friends tends to lead to various schisms down the road. Tensions have been building and limits were really pushed tonight. I myself made a foolish move in retaliation to being hit in the back, while bare-chested, with a 'five star' while my friend held a condom in his hand (All my friends are messed up and I'm no exception). I was disgusted by the prospect of what had happened and did a very un-bro-ly thing and turned to kick him where it hurts most. I'm sorry about that since it had unforeseen consequences beyond the pain but more in the 'image' area amongst my friends. Amidst the tension in the air a blow to someone's image is really a lower blow than my own. I appologized and hope no grudges will be held.
The relationship that that developed out of the love square is strong for now, and has every chance at staying that way, but in lieu of recent events and longstanding emotional attachments, I fear that a more stressful night will come soon. I have always aimed to be more of an observer of events and have been, until some comparatively minor events tonight, but I have found myself much more actively outspoken and not holding true to what I believe in my mind. It is a robotic response more than a defiance of my virtues however it does still bother me. With friends it is hard to be an observer anyway- afterall, I would be more of a stalker than a friend if I didn't involve myself with them. Even so, it troubles me that I'm concious my mistakes and motives yet end up robotically responding to things.
I will work on my responses to things. Furthermore, I will stay true to my belief that humans must be human and that involves enjoying life- even at some minor expense. I refuse to do any form of drugs or to drink in excess, but I am going to enjoy my time here on Earth. If we only live once, I'll dedicate myself to the best of both worlds for mself and others (assuming I get out of this box I live in :P).
A love triangle is one thing, but a square? I knew that things would get hairy as soon as one of the three whose hearts she was stealing made a move. Relationships between friends amongst friends tends to lead to various schisms down the road. Tensions have been building and limits were really pushed tonight. I myself made a foolish move in retaliation to being hit in the back, while bare-chested, with a 'five star' while my friend held a condom in his hand (All my friends are messed up and I'm no exception). I was disgusted by the prospect of what had happened and did a very un-bro-ly thing and turned to kick him where it hurts most. I'm sorry about that since it had unforeseen consequences beyond the pain but more in the 'image' area amongst my friends. Amidst the tension in the air a blow to someone's image is really a lower blow than my own. I appologized and hope no grudges will be held.
The relationship that that developed out of the love square is strong for now, and has every chance at staying that way, but in lieu of recent events and longstanding emotional attachments, I fear that a more stressful night will come soon. I have always aimed to be more of an observer of events and have been, until some comparatively minor events tonight, but I have found myself much more actively outspoken and not holding true to what I believe in my mind. It is a robotic response more than a defiance of my virtues however it does still bother me. With friends it is hard to be an observer anyway- afterall, I would be more of a stalker than a friend if I didn't involve myself with them. Even so, it troubles me that I'm concious my mistakes and motives yet end up robotically responding to things.
I will work on my responses to things. Furthermore, I will stay true to my belief that humans must be human and that involves enjoying life- even at some minor expense. I refuse to do any form of drugs or to drink in excess, but I am going to enjoy my time here on Earth. If we only live once, I'll dedicate myself to the best of both worlds for mself and others (assuming I get out of this box I live in :P).
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Log I: Thanks for the Ropes
Journeys of self examination have amassed to the point where I can no longer pick and choose the epiphanies that I discovered of and for my life. Nor can I can pick and choose the importance of one over another.
For any readers of this set of chronicles, logged, if not daily, then consistently enough for my forming a habit, my name is William Francis Fava, the 1st. I am 17 years of age and attend Malden Catholic High School.
I unfortunately cannot stay to right a long entry tonight as I am exceptionally tired, for reasons that will become clear, and I feel as though I will collapse on my desk if I am to stay up much later tonight. I will be up past 2 tonight.
Here's extending a personal thanks to a dear friend of mine, Virak, for roping me back into this. I never really wanted or had any intention of ending my previous blog permanently, but, that is just how things go sometimes when you're young and lazy. This blog will be daily when possible, but will focus more on my personal life and mind rather than aimless endeavors of the day (not that I won't share 'em anyway).
//End Log I
For any readers of this set of chronicles, logged, if not daily, then consistently enough for my forming a habit, my name is William Francis Fava, the 1st. I am 17 years of age and attend Malden Catholic High School.
I unfortunately cannot stay to right a long entry tonight as I am exceptionally tired, for reasons that will become clear, and I feel as though I will collapse on my desk if I am to stay up much later tonight. I will be up past 2 tonight.
Here's extending a personal thanks to a dear friend of mine, Virak, for roping me back into this. I never really wanted or had any intention of ending my previous blog permanently, but, that is just how things go sometimes when you're young and lazy. This blog will be daily when possible, but will focus more on my personal life and mind rather than aimless endeavors of the day (not that I won't share 'em anyway).
//End Log I
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